addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
