just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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