either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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