nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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