it hurts more in the daytime
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
