Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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