The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
