508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
