Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
