life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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