You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
