i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
