we're chasing vodka with high fives
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
