Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
