Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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