Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
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