the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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