I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
