I wanna passion pit in your ass
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize