could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
