She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
