He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize