THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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