I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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