if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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