I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize