I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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