If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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