dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
