i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Do vagina's smell?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
