my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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