I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize