Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
