I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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