I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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