You just made me feel so damn special
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
