I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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