it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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