You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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