i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
