Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize