Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
