Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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