it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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