Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize