I just made out with a guy for $7.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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