Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize