I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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