i just wanna soil my oats bro
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
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My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
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Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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