I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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