he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
