honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This is not my ceiling
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
