I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
