i barfeds in our rink
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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