I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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