More tranny stories later!
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
