I accidentally burped into my bong.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
