@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
